Covid has changed my life
The Covid Pandemic's impact on a twenty-year-old disabled girl who wants to be a writer
To my dear readers,
its me Writerjournalandwj, but some of you may know me as Kylie, and to a few you may know me as Ky. I'm back after some time away from this blog. But not tonight. Tonight, I'm having a bad one. Actually since Covid began I felt like the black cloud of depression has grown a thousand times worse, and it's finally getting to me.
Writing has been my passion for a long time. I remember as a child I would come up with stories and just announce it as a play. I even wrote some plays myself that have definitely never seen the light of day (more like the dumpster even I'm being honest with everyone). I used to just write for the fun of it, but lately I've been writing to save me from myself, from boredom. I started writing my planned series before Covid, and when the virus first started impacting billions of people across the world, I was alright. I could finally finish my novel! And I did, and then published it on Wattpad. Since then I've handed it over to one of my dearest friends to edit so I can finally make my dreams of being a published author come true. And then of course there is the second novel, the sequel of One Could Only Imagine: One Could Fall. I've written and rewritten it throughout 2020 to 2021. Now it seems I'll be continuing to try to finish it in 2022!
2022. Man, that sounds odd. Another year wasted I'm thinking to myself as I'm writing this post!
The reason why I feel stuck is that we've had so many lockdowns and restrictions, and all I have to show for it is a certificate for freelance. I know, it's not that impressive. In fact, some of you may think that it was foolish to even get one as it doesn't do me any good in the real world. No, the real reason why I feel stuck is that I never experienced love before, and after binging so many tv shows and watching so many movies, I feel alone. That I'll never have someone to romantically love me!
God, I don't know what to think! I literally have no words to say. I'm just so tired of waiting in my house, watching the sun go down and see the night sky over and over again. I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. Literally I feel like punching walls until every bone in the hand can break. 👊
And then there's another part of me that just wants to curl up into a ball and let the tears fall down my face until there's no more sadness, no more anger, no more hope that God will fix me all over again. I'm just so tired of feeling this way, of having to wait and wait. The one thing I want to do when the world goes back to normal is to go to the the one place I know will bring a smile to my face“–North Carolina!
Now you may think why North Carolina? What's so special about the place?
Well my answer is that two of my favourite shows Dawson's Creek and One Tree Hill were filmed. Hell, I just wanna go there because it's the one place I've always wanted to visit. But with a new variant of Covid and more days wasted I don't know if that will ever happen?
Every day I try to fight what everyone is feeling–– loneliness, isolation, emptiness.
But I don't how long all of us can deal with this. Personally I just want it to be all over... all this suffering, but I know that's just wishful thinking.
As always, stay safe my fellow readers. And make the last year of 2021 meaningful!
Sincerely yours,
WritersJournal&WJ
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